Killer Crocodile 2

There used to be an advert on British television for a wood sealant, in which a no-nonsense guy would do a no-nonsense spiel for the product, that it does exactly what it says on the tin.

For some reason this phrase came to mind when watching this unimaginatively titled sequel to Killer Crocodile: Yes, there's another crocodile and, yes, it kills and eats people.




Man 1, crocodile 0

The sequel label perhaps isn't entirely applicable, however, inasmuch as the film was shot at the same time as its predecessor, suggesting that producer Fabrizio De Angelis either saw the first film as immediately demanding a sequel or that there was no real financial risk involved in doing one anyway given they were already on location and had the crocodile.


The rematch

But whereas De Angelis's earlier Zombie Holocaust merely reused locations from Zombie, to which it represented a hasty cash-in, Killer Crocodile 2 also incorporates some of the same actual footage as its predecessor.

Indeed, the dramatic destruction of the previous killer crocodile via its enforced consumption of a spinning outboard motor (shades of Zombie Holocaust's zombie beach death meets Jaws) is later played back once more as a flashback within the context of the unfolding new narrative.

Besides the crocodile munching on anyone who crosses its path, said narrative also involves some barrels of radioactive waste which have gone missing – curiously never presented as having any direct relationship with the unnatural size of the killer crocodiles – an investigative journalist and a ruthless property developer determined nothing will stand in the way of his plans for a new tourist resort.

If the last aspect recalls Sergio Martino's Big Alligator River along with the self-interested business and political types in Jaws, Tentacles and so on, one way in which Killer Crocodile 2 differs is in the absence of anyone foretelling doom if action is not taken.

Indeed, despite the crocodile first chowing down on one of a pair of windsurfers and then on assorted nuns and schoolchildren, everyone except the first film's crocodile hunter seems oblivious to its existence.

This gives the film a curious lack of resolution as the main bad guy isn't punished and it's entirely possible that, unless there is another crocodile out there – a sequel too many as it proved – the main obstacles to their development, namely the crocodile and the missing waste, are no longer issues.


Hmm, a clue

The investigative reporter, meanwhile, perhaps has her ultimate origin in Zombie, although by virtue of her gender is more immediately prefigured by Sherry Buchanan's character in Zombie Holocaust, although tougher and no where near as much of a bitch whom you want to see die slowly and painfully.


The crocodile

Nonetheless, in the end the person who you feel most sympathy for is special effects man turned director Giannetto De Rossi. While certainly limited by constraints of budget and time, his work on both the crocodile and at helming the film is decent, particularly giving the logistical demands of working on location and in the water for much of the film. Unfortunately by 1990 the game was more or less up for the Italian popular cinema...

A slumming or desperate for work Riz Ortolani provides the score, complete with inevitable Jaws-styled crocodile attack theme alongside some of his distinctive syrupy to sickly strings.

Impatto mortale / Deadly Impact

This 1984 cop actioner is one of those Italian productions that tries to pass itself off as American through and through. With Nevada and Phoenix locations; Bo Svenson and Fred Williamson in the lead roles and the crew hiding behind Anglo-sounding pseudonyms it almost gets away with it – unless you know who co-star John Morghen is; that behind such names as director Larry Ludman and editor Vincent Thomas we have Fabrizio De Angelis and Vincenzo Tomassi; or recognise a re-used suspense cue from The New York Ripper.






Plenty of John Morghen

Such games aside what really matters is whether the film delivers the goods. The answer is an unqualified yes, with Svenson and Williamson having a good buddy movie rapport with one another; Morghen making for a suitably despicable villain (“he’s wearing body armour – shoot him in the head!”); and plenty of car and helicopter chases, shoot outs, stunts and explosions.


Plenty of this

Maybe we could have done without the obligatory car crashing through a fruit stall set-up, or the soaking of a Salvation Army band as another car smashes into a fire hydrant, but such excesses also demonstrate De Angelis’s commitment to giving the audience what they want and more.

Much the same can be said of a romantic interlude in which Svenson’s goes to see a long-suffering on-off girlfriend, except that it offers not only the opportunity to show some exposed breasts but also to re-affirm the heterosexuality of the two ex-Vietnam buddies, that there is nothing romantic going on between them, the phallic symbolism of Williamson’s omnipresent cigars and Svenson’s hand-cannon magnum notwithstanding.

Indeed, just in case we have not got the message, there’s also a Police Academy-esque scene where Svenson is misdirected to a gay bar, the Lulu Belle. Its denizens do not take kindly to his presence, although he is able to get away merely by making his excuses, without the need to pull out his weapon...

Another Hollywood reference point of the time is Superman III, with the film’s Mcguffin – a computer nerd and his girlfriend have worked out a system to beat the Las Vegas slots by monitoring when the machines are about to make a big payout – having a similar urban legend quality to Richard Pryor’s fractions of a cent scam there.

Cinque uomini contro tutti / Cobra Mission / Operation Nam

Obviously taking its inspiration from Rambo, this Fabrizio de Angelis / Larry Ludman entry sees a group of Vietman veterans decide to return to the country after hearing reports that some of their comrades are still being held in prisoner-of-war camps by the Viet Cong, fully a decade after the war's official end; that there's a four- rather than a one-man army is probably explicable by the fact that none of the quartet of Christopher Connelly, John Steiner, Oliver Tobias and Manfred Lehmann could exactly be described as possessing the same physique or star recognition as Stallone, though together they certainly present an attractive proposition for the Eurotrash enthusiast.


Gordon Mitchell also appears as one of the men's former commanding officers, and tries to dissuade them from their self-appointed mission.

After incidents involving an cynical conman who takes opportunity of Americans desperate to be reuinted with loved ones and a militantly anti-communist French colonialist priest – incidents which also allow for some welcome cameo appearances from Ennio Girolami, Luciano Pigozzi and Donald Pleasance to further bolster the film's cult appeal – the four men cross the border into Vietnam and proceed to dispose of what seems like half the Vietnamese army without themselves really breaking much of a sweat.






Exploding huts, trucks and choppers

Although the action remains equally gung-ho in the second half as the Cobra Mission team heads for the border with the rescued POW's in tow, the film also develops a more serious side as it emerges that the US authorities have not only repeatedly denied the prisoners' existence but have also been complicit in the Vietnamese keeping them captive.

If the resulting impression is one of an at times awkward mixture of juvenile action and a rather more adult and cynical approach, vaguely reminiscent of the moral universe of the spaghetti western, it also helps to further distinguish the film from its American model and give it a more distinctively Italian cast.

In particular Rambo's famous question “do we get to win this time” cannot necessarily be answered in the affirmative here – assuming, that is, that it's even possible to definitively identify this “we,” with the early US-set scenes also nicely establishing that the four veterans have not exactly been welcomed back into civilian life with heros welcomes.

One wonder what John Wayne would have thought of his son Ethan's role in the film. It's not The Green Berets, that's for sure...