Wednesday 9 November 2011

Heavy stuff

My cat, Bebert, the image that I have as my icon here, has died.

I woke up this morning and found him dead outside the door.

It was completely unexpected. He was about eight years old and was his usual self last night and early in the morning, even up to a couple of hours before.

This was not what I needed at this point, when the new anti-depressants I was taking and whose dose had then been increased seemed to be working; when I was back on track PhD wise, and when things (sleeping, eating, alcohol consumption, self-harming) were generally getting under control.

Hope you will understand if there are no more posts for a bit...

19 comments:

Snipes said...

I know how you feel. I lost my cat a couple years back around this time. I let her outside early one morning because she wanted to go outside and never saw her again, have since assumed an owl or coyote probably got her, as she was never prone to running off and I'd let her out in the early mornings on numerous occasions. It takes a while to get over it but eventually you will. Did your cat die of natural causes or was it attacked by something?

You really can't let domestic cats roam at night anymore. Since my cat died another one showed up in our backyard that some neighbor who moved away left behind. He's become our new outside cat, but he gets put up in an outdoor enclosure every night as he's had his share of fights and encounters, spent good money on fixing him up after something bit or clawed him in the face (again probably an owl). Now he feels safe at night and I don't worry about him.

Don't take it too hard, it's the circle of life, just think of the good times, and keep an eye out maybe a stray cat will find you it's weird how that works. After my cat disappeared I found a stray outside my office (whose now become my office cat) and the one at home whose become my outside cat.

Richard of DM said...

I know from experience how the death of a beloved pet can really knock you on your ass. There is no easy way to just stop grieving. You just have to weather the storm. Stay strong and take care.

Justin Kosch said...

I'm sorry.

Pets sometimes feel like the one constant thing in a chaotic world. I'm sure we all have stories.

Whatever feelings you have, go with them, safely. The best advice someone ever told me was, "I've never felt worse after crying."

k said...

so sad to hear it. r.i.p.

Nigel M said...

So sorry to hear this Keith. You have my deepest sympathy.

James Gracey said...

So sorry to hear about this Keith. Always so sad when pets pass away - they really do become part of the family, don't they? Hope you're okay.
You have my deepest sympathy. Take care.

Steve Biodrowski said...

Something in our souls cries out at the injustice of a universe that behaves so arbitrarily and cruelly.

I have been lucky with my pets, dogs and cats, to the extent that the end was clear well in advance, providing time to steel oneself for the inevitable. The sudden shock of losing a middle-aged cat, apparently in good health, is something altogether more upsetting.

You do great work on this blog, Keith, and I will be sorry for it to go on hiatus, but you must see to yourself first. Good luck, and stay well.

johnny6666 said...

Sorry to read about your situation, Keith. My condolences - the loss of an animal friend is a terrible thing (on top of everything else).

Hang in there.

K Mitchell said...

Very sorry to read this sad news. I hope you feel better soon.

Anonymous said...

Sorry about this. I have had my cat, Little, for about 11 years. He is my best friend, really.

Sabman said...

Sorry to hear that. Be strong and keep moving ahead. There is always a lot left in life.

Sano said...

Sorry to hear that. It's always terrible when someone you love dies. I also lost my cat two years ago, when it was run over by a car. Didn't know it, until somebody phoned and said they had found the dead body on the street. Sadly that's life, and we'll all come to an end one day. I wish you all the best, and that you are able to grieve the way you need to.

Chris Baker said...

So sorry to hear this. Please take care of yourself and I look forward to having you back posting.

Delta said...

I am sorry to hear of your loss.

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Anonymous said...

I'm sorry about that. Don't be sad, he is with god know. Cat's and dogs reincarnet in 30-60 days. My dog passed away this year too, if you need someone to talk about, e-mail me. Merry Christmas and a happy new year.

Unknown said...

That's really sad, hope you're doing better. If I lost my pug I would be exactly the same. Take care.

Anonymous said...

Happy New Year; hope you're doing ok.

-Chris Baker